Go Out & Meet People

I recently read a trending article: My Husband Is Not My Soul Mate, and it was quite an interesting read.

I’m not writing to respond to this article, but I am going to write my responses.

If you know me, you’ll know that I absolutely loooove to say this, that Love is a choice you make. I love someone because I chose to. I commit to one person, in spite of all our differences, because I chose to, and continue to choose to.

Love is a choice.

When the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris got popular, every person I knew in church was either reading it or scrambling to borrow it. I didn’t really bother with it…maybe because I just don’t see any problem with dating or meeting (more) new people. Okay, I didn’t read the book, so I can’t exactly pinpoint his definition of dating. But the way I “date”, is basically just going out with a person and getting to know him better.

No kiss. No hugs. No misleading actions or words (on my end). Just a purely friendly solo outing with a boy.

People who read the book gave me looks for still “dating”, which I didn’t (care to) understand. Yea, I was a nonchalant kid. When I got older and got hurt from going with some people, it made me question if they were right, that I should stop “dating” because all they bring is pain; that I should stay home and pray more for God to lead me to that one guy that is so perfect it’s gonna be heaven on earth for us.

To be honest, I did entertain that thought/idea for awhile, especially after someone came into my life and broke me. The only God-please-give-him-to-me prayers I’ve ever uttered for a man; for this someone, and he broke me. For a moment, I gave up and told God, just give me the god-damn One already.

While that failed relationship made me partially yearn for God to give me His best pick for me (already!), it also taught me that relationship and love, is a choice. You have to choose to love the person, choose to fight for and with the person. You need to decide that the person is worth fighting for. He didn’t make the choice. He didn’t fight. He didn’t love.

It is based on a daily choice to love this man, this husband that I chose out of many people that I could have chosen to love… He is not some illusive soul mate, not some divine fullfulment, not some perfect step on the rigorously laid out but of so secret “Plan for My Life.”

There is no ONE PERSON for you. But once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person….

That relationship made me see the importance of being equally yoked, and for the first time in my life, “He must love God and understand God’s love” became a criteria and priority (above musically inclined and whatnot).

But once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person…. that all that really mattered was that he loved the lord, made you laugh, and was someone you to whom you were attracted. The rest is frosting.

***

One thing I’ve concluded recently, is that it is erroneous and dangerous for people to stay home and wait for the Mr/Ms Right. Every person you meet (and/or date) is an experience; every person you meet teaches you something and helps sharpen your vision about who is right for you, and who you are.

#2 awakened me to qualities I do not want in a man

#3 broke me and the experience taught me that love is a choice. It also made me think about what I want in a man, and the importance of being equally yoked

#4 taught me never to ignore my gut feeling, that I’m really not the sort to “try out” a relationship, and again, the importance of being equally yoked.

All the different experiences with different people I’ve gotten to know in my life made me who I am today and I guess they led me straight to you. I wasn’t waiting at home when I bumped into you 3 separate times, I was out living my life and meeting new people, and I met you.